when do you know it’s time to say goodbye to your dog?
i have a labrador retriever X who just turned 15.
The vet says he is not in any pain its just that he has pressure on his lungs and has arthritis which hampers his mobility.
But he is continually finding it harder to stand up and get down,
When do you know that it is time? I would hate to be selfish, I cannot bear the thought of saying goodbye.
Also how is the best way to handle the situation with kids? I have a 9 and 7 year olds. Has anyone else gone through this with kids?
Do you tell the vet is coming to put your dog down and let them say goodbye or do you wait until they are not there and put him down so they do not fret about it?
I don’t know how I am going to handle it.
If anyone has gone through this as well I would appreciate any advice.
Thanks
My dog is on arthritis tablets which the vet said should ease the pain, you are probably right he might be feeling pain or discomfort at the least, which is something that really worries me. Sometimes I look into his eyes and try and will him to give me a sign but he unfortunately he can’t.
It is very very hard to say goodbye to an old friend no matter how you do it. Be honest with the kids and explain the situation to them. I have had to do this too many times and always say no more dogs. I always end up with a puppy that touches my heart and I am back in the game again. Spend time with your Lab and make sure that he is not in pain (physical or mental) and you will know when it is time. Good luck and remember your heart will heal after this.
you have to be honest with the kids so they can say there farewell then do the job
When an animal is in incurable pain or seems to be constantly suffering, some find it best to put the animal down in a personal manner.
Death is a factor of life, and in this case…honesty is not the easiest policy, but it is the best. The death of a pet is not the harshest of woes one will face in life, and while that fact doesn’t soften the blow of it, nor does evading the event. Best to be together, to comfort, to face, and to grow.
Let the children be there if they wish. They, above all else, will know if they can stand to be with their companion. They may surprise you in their reactions.
The best suggestion? Choose your words carefully. Consider the possible misinterpretations your children might have ahead of time, and plan and check for them. This will be an important event in their lives.
And while many cultures view death as a time of mourning, you may find it helpfull to view cultures in which death is an accepted and even celebrated facet of life…or even adopt your own honest and frank manners. See my source links for a few good resources to start from.
I went through this myself. Our dog was 14, hearing and sight was going, and he was having seizures. But he would still wag his tail. I would have to help him outside as his back legs would give out. It took me a long time to do it. He was my daughter’s childhood dog and she had recently married. I told her that I was going to do it, and she was okay with it, but she just didn’t want to know when. Warn your children that the time is coming. I think if you tell them and let them say their goodbyes, then do it within a short time after that.
I feel so bad for you, it is so difficult, but time has a way of healing the pain.
Ok the whole thing is real hard no matter how you look at it, you have to look at his quality of life. if it’s not good at all on any day than it maybe time, you really will know when you’ll come to terms with it in your head and it will be painful to let go but time. As for the kids I don’t have any kids but I have had to put dogs to sleep and watched it, the only thing i can say is I wouldn’t have the kids there for the actual procedure. some vets give the dog a muscle relaxer and that can make dogs either just clumsy and messed up or it can actually make them howl and cry. I don’t think you want them to see that and maybe you don’t want to either, every dog is different but when you are looking at your pet in the eyes it isn’t really good. not to mention when the medicine is finally administered there is a window of time where the dog could pee on you, so if the kids are there hugging him and not wanting to let him go it will make it much harder. My suggestion is to be honest with your children maybe you have another relative who has passed that you can use as an example or this maybe there first death and it will help in the future when a relaive passes. I just say cook the dog his favorite dinner that day and say pleasant goodbyes and leave the room. You and the kids will be left with a image in your head of him instead of what he looks like after. Good luck
Hi, I am sorry about the situation you are in, it is an awful part of life. For the kids, I say be as honest as you possibly can, explain to them that dogs only live a certain length, but that your family has made those years as wonderful as possible. Go to the health food stores and ask for homeopathic medicines for arthritis, shark cartledge and joint rebuilder (it is painful, trust me, I cant believe a vet would say that), animals never show pain, the predators will attack them. Try giving the dog boiled chicken and rice only. Cut out the dog food, treats, human scraps.. see how the dog does, the medicine will help with the inflamation and pain, he or she should do better. When the time comes to say good bye, make sure the kids are involved in the process, they are only going to resent any dishonesty. Explain that every dog, cat, bird has to die, they have babies get old and die. As the time comes when you notice your dog is slowing down, ask your dog if he wants to go to the rainbow bridge and wait for you and the kids, talk to the dog with pictures in your mind, they really understand. He or she will let you know, then take the dog to the vet with his favorite toy, blanket and such lay him down and each person pat the dog and say the best memories of the dog and say good bye, tears are ok, greif and loss are a part of life that is hidden away for most of us and we are never taught how to deal with it. After the dog has gone to sleep, have a real funeral with the kids help, and talk about sadness you all feel and if you see your children acting sad, ask them to tell you their feelings and let them know that it shows that they loved the dog. In a few months, not too soon, go with the kids to the shelter and adopt another dog that really needs a home, not a puppy, a regular dog, and explain to them that these orphans are dropped off by the millions all over the us and that responsiple loving homes are needed. Lots of hugs for the dog for his long love for your family and the kids for going through a rough time. Best Wishes
Be honest with your children death is an unfortunate part of life but children should be taught how to deal with grief and will help them in the future when its time you will know as long as he is not in pain the vet will also give you a good indication good luck
If he is a happy old dog then i wouldnt worry so much but if his quality of life is gone then it may be time for him to go too (that you are thinking of it shows that it may be time). Dont do it when they arent there because that would cheat the kids out of saying goodbye. Explain that the dog is really tired and you are going to help him sleep and when he wakes up he with be in doggy heaven. Let them give him loves and treats then take them out of the room while he dies(sometimes it can be messy and disturbing to kids) then take them back in to explain that now he is happy sleeping and will be sleeping somewhere else and not coming back. This method will work if you arent ready to explain death to them yet. I am so sorry you have to make the decision. My last dog died of old age in her sleep, even tho we knew it was coming, it devastated us, so preparation may be the way to go to make it easier on the kids and you. I hope you are comfortable with your decision in the end and again i am sorry.
So sorry for your situation – been there. All I can say is – you just know when it’s time. The fact that you are asking the question shows that you know it’s nearly time. Think about how much quality of life he has & let him go while he still has dignity, it’s the last kind thing you can do for him.
There is a saying for this situation:
Better a week too soon than a day too late.
As for the children, personally, I wouldn’t have them there, mainly because they’ll get more upset seeing you upset. Be honest with them though.
This brought tears to my eyes.I have a lab and he is my life i carnt stand the thought of having to one day have him put to sleep.I really feel for you.But you have to do whats right and for your dog not to suffer as for the children do you think they will be able to understand?And if you don’t let them say goodbye they might resent you for doing that.Only you can make that decision.xxxxxxxx
I have gone thru this and found it very difficult. I just KNEW when the time was to put her down. You may want to explain to the kids that the dog is getting sick and explain about having the dog put down. When I had mine put down I was holding her in my arms and it was very difficult. I also felt better that I was there for her last breath and was able to end her suffering. She got sick quickly and went downhill very fast.
I found this and have it on my wall next to my desk
He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.